If you’re spending time with someone, texting daily, sharing laughs and feels—but still don’t know where you stand—welcome to the club. You might be in a situationship.
This article will break down what a situationship really is, why situationships are everywhere right now, the pros and cons of being in one, signs of a situationship to watch for, and how to handle a situationship so you can move toward clarity or peace.
What Is a Situationship?
A situationship is a romantic relationship that sits somewhere between casual dating and a committed relationship. It’s not just a fling, but it’s also not a real relationship with clear labels or promises.
You’re acting like a couple—sharing time, feelings, and sometimes even friends—but with no defined boundaries. This undefined space can feel exciting and flexible at first, but it often leaves one or both people wondering: “What are we?”
Why Are Situationships So Common?
Modern love is complicated. We live in an age where freedom, self-discovery, and keeping options open are prized. With dating apps and the social media highlight reel, many people lean into situationships because they’re low pressure and don’t demand the commitments of a committed relationship.
For many, an uncommitted romantic or sexual relationship feels safer than asking for clarity and risking rejection. Plus, with so many choices available, locking into a real relationship can feel overwhelming.
Pros and Cons of Situationships
Pros
- Low pressure: You get to enjoy companionship without high expectations.
- Flexibility: Focus on personal goals while still having emotional connection.
- Exploration: Great for testing chemistry before making it official.
Cons
- Emotional confusion: Lack of clarity can create anxiety and insecurity.
- Unmet expectations: One person may want more while the other stays in limbo.
- Potential heartbreak: When feelings get one-sided, it’s painful.
Signs of a Situationship
Wondering if you’re caught in a situationship? Here are the telltale signs:
- Consistency in communication, but no commitment.
- You’ve been “talking” or “hanging out” for months with no DTR (Define The Relationship) conversation.
- Plans are spontaneous, never future-focused.
- You’re emotionally connected but still undefined.
- You’re somewhere between single and taken, but officially neither.
How to Handle a Situationship
Recognising you’re in an undefined romantic relationship means it’s time to decide your next move. Here’s how to handle a situationship:
1. End It
If you want emotional security and the situationship isn’t delivering, it’s okay to walk away. You deserve a real relationship where your feelings are respected.
2. Define It
Start the conversation. Say something like:
“I really like what we have, but I need to know—are we on the same page?”
Clarity could surprise you and bring you closer—or at least give you peace.
3. Accept It
If you’re genuinely happy with the freedom and undefined nature of your connection—and so is the other person—then that’s okay too. Just be sure it’s truly mutual.
Situationships vs Committed Relationships: What’s the Difference?
The key difference lies in definition and expectation. A committed relationship is a real relationship with mutual understanding, exclusivity, and future planning. A situationship is undefined, often lacking clear communication or commitment.
While situationships might feel fun and easy, they’re not sustainable if you want deeper emotional security.
Undefined Relationship
An undefined relationship is exactly what it sounds like—a connection where the boundaries, labels, and expectations are blurry or non-existent. It’s that space where you’re spending time together, sharing moments, and maybe even acting like a couple, but without ever having the “What are we?” conversation. This ambiguity can feel freeing at first, especially if you’re not ready for anything serious, but over time it often leads to confusion and mixed signals. Without clarity, it’s easy to start questioning your place in the other person’s life and wonder if you’re just filling a gap rather than building something meaningful.
Real Relationship
A real relationship is marked by clear communication, mutual commitment, and shared expectations. Unlike an undefined relationship, it offers a sense of security and belonging. When you’re in a real relationship, both people are on the same page about exclusivity, future plans, and emotional investment. It’s not about pressure or losing freedom—it’s about choosing each other intentionally and openly. If you’re craving deeper connection and stability, aiming for a real relationship means having the courage to ask for clarity and the willingness to step into vulnerability.
Final Thoughts: Choosing What’s Right for You
Situationships aren’t inherently bad—they can be exactly what you need in a certain season. But if you crave a committed relationship or a real relationship, don’t settle for less.
Check in with yourself. Are you okay with the undefined? Or is it time to ask for clarity, or walk away?
You deserve a love that feels clear, respectful, and fulfilling—whether that’s in a situationship or a fully committed partnership.
With love and clarity,
– Sienna x
